他们称之为肥胖的解药。这里是细则。

第1个月：开始注射减肥针。体重迅速下降。奇迹般。

第3个月：减重两英石，欣喜若狂，向每一个愿意听的人讲述。

第5个月：现在恶心感持续不断，食物不再是享受。

第6个月：肌肉也在流失，不仅仅是脂肪。脸庞仿佛老了十岁。

第8个月：胃痉挛弯腰痛，肠胃紧缩，胆囊也开始出问题。

第9个月：厌倦了这种病态的感觉，停药。两周内食欲猛烈反弹。

第12个月：脂肪回来了，肌肉却没有。净损失比开始那天更糟。

第13个月：重新开始注射，这次明白这是永久的。

第3年：每月200英镑，永无止境，伴随恶心和一切副作用，只为管理一件一盘肉和鸡蛋本可解决的事。

一种带针头的订阅，终身可续。

They call it the cure for obesity. Here is the fine print.

Month 1: starts the weight-loss jab. The weight falls off. Miraculous.

Month 3: down two stone, delighted, telling everyone who'll listen.

Month 5: the nausea is constant now, and food has stopped being a pleasure.

Month 6: the muscle is going too, not just the fat. The face has aged a decade.

Month 8: bent double with stomach cramps, gut seized, gallbladder playing up.

Month 9: sick of feeling sick, comes off it. The appetite roars back within a fortnight.

Month 12: the fat returns, the muscle does not. Net worse off than the day he started.

Month 13: back on the jab, this time understood to be for good.

Year 3: £200 a month, forever, nausea and all, to manage a thing a plate of meat and eggs would have handled.

A subscription with a needle, renewable for life.